In 2021, I was thrilled to receive a scholarship to study in the United States. My future husband and I met on an online dating app while I was in school. At first, he seemed like a nice and sweet guy. I fell in love with him very quickly, and after seven months of dating, we got married.
Everything seemed to change after we got married. When we argued, he would use cruel language, get in my face, and grab me. I learned he had tens of thousands of dollars in debt that he had lied about. He then quit his job, and all the financial burdens fell on me. He started threatening me not to tell my family or friends anything about our relationship, and he monitored my phone to control me. I felt scared all the time, like I could not be myself around him anymore.
Finally, I decided to move out and live with my sister. I asked him to give me space, but instead he constantly messaged me and stalked me, continuing his verbal abuse. His constant presence and intrusive messages made me feel like I was never truly safe, and I was afraid he would resort to physical violence.
He told me he withdrew my green card application, which terrified me given all that I was seeing in the news about detention and deportation. He tried to blackmail me by telling me he’d be willing to refile my green card if we got back together.
I called the National Domestic Violence Hotline and spoke to someone supportive who told me I could apply for VAWA to get my legal status without my husband’s support. She also gave me referrals to many supportive organizations, including the Tahirih Justice Center.
With the support of my advocates at Tahirih, I divorced my abusive husband and filed for VAWA. The process has been very stressful and slow. I’ve been afraid to go out in public while my status is pending because I’ve been hearing a lot on the news about deportations.
I waited months and months to receive my work permit from USCIS. I called them many times to see what was happening. I learned that I could ask my local congressional representative to help so I reached out to her and finally it was approved.
I’ve learned from this whole experience that despite all the negative rhetoric and terrible things happening with immigration enforcement, there are still people who want to help, like my advocates at Tahirih and my congressional representative. I hope every person going through abuse like I did can learn from my story that with determination and persistence, you can find safety.
