Jehan’s Story
I first met my cousin, Asif*, when I was 14 and he came from the United States to Pakistan with his parents looking for a wife. Asif liked me and asked me to marry him. I was very happy and excited. He and his mother promised that Asif would take care of me and support my education. My mother agreed to the marriage. I entered the United States on a fiancée visa, and married Asif soon afterwards when I was 18.
Soon after we were married, Asif’s behavior towards me changed. He refused to allow me to take English classes, leave our home, or use the telephone. He spent most of his time outside of the home with friends and would not tell me where he was going. I was usually stuck at home alone and spent all my time cooking for him and his family. I felt like a maid and was continuously insulted by Asif, his family, and his friends. Sometimes he hit me while his friends sat laughing.
I soon found out that Asif dated and slept with other women. I was devastated because Asif was my husband, and I wanted our marriage to work. I told him how much his behavior hurt me—he responded that my sadness made him feel good. I also learned that Asif had a drinking problem. When I asked him to stop drinking for the sake of our unborn child, he would hit me, slam my head into the wall, and curse at me. He threatened to deport me, put me in jail, and keep our baby away from me.
I felt completely alone and helpless. Once Asif began slapping and punching me while I was pregnant. His mother tried to stop him, but he screamed “I do what I want to do, I am her boss.” After he said that, she became silent and did not try to defend me.
After our son, Tahir*, was born, he began beating and abusing me more frequently. One day, I was preparing a bottle for our baby when he came into the kitchen and burned my wrists on the stove. Another time, I asked him to go the store to get food for Tahir. He came home empty-handed, but I greeted him anyway. He asked me why I was not crying because it made him happy to see me cry. He proceeded to beat me so severely that the following day I decided to leave. I called the only contacts I had to try to locate assistance and finally, FAITH—an organization that assists Muslim women experiencing domestic violence—called the police who took me to a shelter.
Even after I had left him, he continued threatening me. One evening, I was driving home with Tahir. I saw Asif and his friend driving behind me. They tried to cut me off and I had to veer off the road so as not to hit them. Then they pulled up next to me and hit me on the passenger side of the car. I swerved off the road and when I called Asif to ask him what was wrong with him, he pretended to not know that he had hit me.
With the help of the Tahirih Justice Center and my pro bono attorney, Bilal Sayyed at O’Melveny & Myers LLP, I was able to get the legal help I needed to free myself from Asif’s control. My VAWA application was granted and, this past spring, I was granted my Green Card. Tahirih’s family law attorney also assisted me in getting a divorce from Asif. Both Tahir and I are now safe and I am working hard to provide a life for us here in the United States.
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*Names have been changed to protect privacy. The photograph included here is not of Jehan and was generously provided by The General Design Co.
