Sarah’s Story
Shaka* and I became engaged in my native Sudan. He was familiar with my political activities opposing the Sudanese government and knew that I chose not to wear a veil, even though I am a faithful Muslim woman. After we got married, I joined Shaka in Qatar, where he was living and working. But soon after our marriage began, I discovered that Shaka was not as tolerant of my beliefs and lifestyle as he had led me to believe. He forced me to radically change the way I dressed, making me wear what he considered “traditional Muslim clothing” that covered my hair and hands.
The first time Shaka hit me, I was five months pregnant with our first son. He became enraged that I had taken off my glove at Qatar’s immigration office so that my blood could be drawn for my residency visa. On the ride home from the office, Shaka slapped me across the face and tried to push me out of the moving car. From that point on, Shaka hit and slapped me every week. The more I tried to protect and defend myself, the angrier and more violent he became. After I gave birth to our second son, I experienced the worst abuse of my marriage. Shaka had left me home alone all day long with our newborn son without enough food or drink. He also took the phone away with him. When he returned after midnight, I demanded a divorce. He punched me in the eye so hard that I lost consciousness. I woke up in pain with a bleeding eye. I was unable to report the incident or call an ambulance. A neighbor called an ambulance for me, but Shaka ordered the neighbor to leave and turned the ambulance away.
I refused to tolerate the abuse any longer and began making plans for my escape from Qatar with our sons. My employer advanced me money to purchase our tickets to Sudan. When Shaka realized that I had left the country with the children, he followed us to Sudan and tried to force me to return with him, refusing my pleas for a divorce. When his family learned that I had returned to Sudan, they also began harassing me, my relatives, friends, and co-workers, in an attempt to force me to return to my husband. I soon realized that my sons and I would not be safe in Sudan either, so I began planning our escape to the United States.
Once in the United States, with the help of the Tahirih Justice Center, I was granted asylum in January 2003. In November 2006, Shaka arrived in the United States with a Sudanese court order granting him custody of our children, and petitioned the Fairfax court for emergency custody of the boys. Once he realized that it would be futile to ask the court for physical custody of our children, he modified his petition for visitation in Sudan. I realized that if our boys returned to Sudan, I would never see them again. With Tahirih’s help, the Fairfax court ordered Shaka to surrender his passport and tickets prior to any visitation. Furthermore, the court required all visitations to be supervised to prevent him from leaving the United States with our sons.
I recently received my Master’s Degree in Telecommunications from George Mason University while working full-time. I am currently residing in Fairfax, Virginia, with my sons and my mother. Living in the United States, I am no longer afraid that my ex-husband or his family can hurt us. I feel free and protected from Shaka here.
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*Names have been changed to protect privacy. The photograph included here is not of Sarah and was generously provided by Rosita Najmi.
