Tanya’s Story
My family first began “discussing” my marriage when I was 14 years old. In reality, they had already chosen someone for me—a much older man who already had 3 wives and 16 children. My objections did not matter. Because I was a gifted student and was doing well in school, I was able to delay my inevitable marriage until after I finished school. As the wedding date was getting close, my mother sent me to my aunt’s house to pick up something for her. Once I arrived, I realized the true motive for the visit: I was to be circumcised that day, along with five other girls. Four women pinned me down and I screamed and cried, but no one helped me. I moved so much that I also got a cut on my leg from the knife. After my wounds were healed, my family said it was time for my marriage. I tried one final time to escape the marriage. My aunts and uncles beat me so badly for my refusal that I fell unconscious and was in the hospital for almost a week. I knew then that I could not escape.
After my marriage, I concentrated on my children, my friends, and my job. I settled into my life and was able to find some happiness. I became a member of a group working to stop the practice of circumcision.
But all my fears were realized when my husband began pushing for my oldest daughter’s arranged marriage and circumcision. My daughter was also a good student and very interested in pursuing her studies. So I was able to convince my husband to delay her marriage until she finished her high-school education. But when my daughter turned 18, I found out that my husband had already chosen a husband for her and had already accepted the dowry. When I could not convince my husband to change his mind, I twice went to the police to file a complaint. But each time the police would not accept the complaint and told me to leave. They told me that I should not try to revolt against the customs of my society.
Once I realized that I could not prevent my daughter’s marriage or circumcision, I began making plans to flee my home and my country. We could no longer be safe in either place. I began saving money and selling all my jewelry to pay for the costs of our escape. I knew that I needed to leave with all three of my daughters because the same fate would fall on my other two daughters if I did not take them with me. While I was secretly arranging for our flight from Guinea, my oldest daughter was constantly being beaten by family members because of her objection to the marriage. The family blamed me for introducing dissent and immoral values into the family. Finally, the tensions boiled over to the point that my own husband and my sisters-in-law beat my daughter so severely that they broke her foot. She had to be hospitalized. I went to the police again for help and was told that it was a family problem and they refused to interfere.
My daughters and I finally fled to the United States a few months later. Our struggles continued. We had just arrived, did not know the laws of the country, and we trusted the first attorney we came upon. Because he did not work very hard on our case and didn’t even show up at our asylum interview, we were denied asylum by the Asylum Office. We were in desperate need when we finally found the Tahirih Justice Center. I will never forget the day when my Tahirih attorney, Colleen, met me in court wheeling her 8-week-old baby in a carriage with one hand, and wheeling a big stack of my case files with her other hand. I knew then that as a mother herself she understood my need to protect my children, and would fight for us with everything she had. Colleen brought a big group of Tahirih staff and interns to support us and they all shared babysitting duty for Colleen’s newborn during the hearing. Finally, after more than 2.5 years in the United States, we were granted asylum on July 14, 2005, by an Immigration Judge.
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Women Asylum-Seekers Fleeing Forced Marriage Still Vulnerable
Tanya was able to spare herself and her daughters further pain and anguish by winning asylum in the United States. But sadly, she is one of the lucky few women who ever make it to our shores to seek protection in the first place, let alone who succeed. Despite these long-shot odds, and the fact that women fleeing such brutal abuses can meet all the criteria for our protection under the Refugee Convention, the issue of forced marriage as grounds for asylum is still a deeply contested one.
For example, in a move that would further limit the availability of gender-based asylum, on March 16th the US Department of Justice filed a writ of certiorari to ask the Supreme Court to reverse a federal court’s grant of asylum to a young woman from China who was sold into a forced marriage. This decision to contest the asylum grant could roll back historic progress made over the last decade in gender-based asylum law and could deny future clients like Tanya the ability to seek protection in the United States from forced marriages.
For a more detailed account of the issue, please read the Christian Science Monitor article published March 23, 2007.
*Names have been changed to protect privacy. The photograph included here is not of Sarah and was generously provided by Rosita Najmi.
